Thank you!!!!

Thank you to everyone who helped us along our adoption journey.  Ian is home and adjusting to life in a new family and we are adjusting to life as parents to a needy little boy. So many people helped us on this journey it would not have been possible without you. Thank you to friends, family, acquaintances and complete strangers! We were so blessed by your kind words and encouragement. We received financial gifts and help with fundraisers. So whether you wrote a check, bought an item, hosted a Jamberry party, invited someone to a fundraiser, liked a sales post on Facebook, gave us airline miles, or donated an item we are VERY grateful. Thank you for advocating for us during our delays and sending reference letters. Thank you Southgate friends for our adoption shower. Almost EVERY SINGLE THING our son has received fits or is ready for him to grow into! Between gifts and hand-me-downs we did not even have to buy him any clothes, only shoes, and some extra socks and underwear. He has a bed, toys to play with (even a tricycle!), and books to learn from!  Thank on you on our return home for filling in for Abe at church, for bags of groceries and hand me down clothes, and the few brave souls who offered to babysit.

At the beginning of this process, I expected fundraising to become my part-time job, which it did, and Abe had serious concerns about the financial aspect.  We planned to save as much as possible, do as many fundraisers as possible, take all the help generous friends and family, apply for grants or even adoption loans. God COMPLETLY took care of those concerns. He even dropped several freelance jobs in my lap. We were blessed with a generous grant from Show Hope. We did not ONCE have an adoption bill we could not pay for with money that had been donated/raised/saved in the bank. Yes, the adoption took a while, but the financial cost was the least of our concerns. The hardest part, aside from becoming an adoptive parents was waiting on delays. We had to re-do redundant paperwork because of delays that were out of our control, which cost us some extra money, but more frustratingly, time.

Again we are very blessed. We still ask for your prayer as being brand new special needs parents is the tiring, frustrating, time-consuming, and stressful. We try to remember how hard it is for Ian too, as he struggles to learn to word "no", how trust us, learn our language, not disobey every rule, learn appropriate behavior, and how to have fun. We have good days and bad days. We get hugs and giant tantrums every day. Please pray for mommy and the new addition arriving next month! That we stay healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally. That we can stay healthy and happy! We need God's help down here. And find the support that we need not to merely survive, but to thrive as a family of soon to be four!  

"Gotcha Day"

Gotcha day, 09/07/2016.

Plaza of our son's village

It was surreal as we stepped out of our car to walk back up the uneven street that lead to the social workers office. We had been there before, and it all seemed so familiar. This was the same walk we took on a similar morning in April, when we nervously waited for the first glimpse or sound of a small child we had never met.

This time was different though. There he was, waiting with his foster mom at the front of the building. How much would he know? Would he freak out when she left, and he was expected to ride away forever with two people he barely knew? He gave a shout for joy as he saw us, calling to us and also saying "swings! swings!" He quickly reached for "Tatko", Daddy, to be picked up, smiling. He remembered us! He was especially excited to see Abe! He also obviously remembered that we always played at the playground that he referred to as "swings."

1st picture reunited!!!

We received and signed a bunch of important papers and documents with our attendant and the social worker.

Important Documents

The foster mom went to buy some of the meds he has been taking so we would have them. She then quietly slipped out, leaving him in our care. What would happen now? Would he immediately become frightened? Would he scream and cry for the next 5 hours in the car? Nope, not time to freak out yet. Ian was so excited by everything going on that he didn't really notice right away. He seemed concerned that she was gone, but was not distraught. When we did leave to start our journey back to the capital, he wanted to look for her or go to the playground. Time would not allow so we had to go. We weren't sure how he would do on the 5 hour car ride. He was super excited to ride in the car, he had most likely only ridden in one a only few times in his entire life! On trip one, when we got to meet him, we took him on a shorter car ride, 25min, and he did get carsick on the way home. We gave him a bit of Dramamine, just in case, and he was perfect riding in the car. We took a few rest stops for bathroom breaks, had a few little snacks, and eventually a nap.

Finally, we made it to our home for the next week and a half, a small yet spacious 2 bedroom apartment in Sofia. He proceeded to explore this new place by looking in every room and opening every cupboard. We quickly put out of reach anything that looked breakable, lamps, and decor mostly stayed out of reach. He got to have a bath, which he was very cautious about, but enjoyed. We think he mostly had showers before and had not much experience with huge bathtubs. So squeaky clean, he went to bed. The clothes we brought fit, but not the diapers. The bedtime underpants, fit though, thankfully! He is used to sharing a bed so we stayed with him in his room until he fell asleep and then came to him when he would wake up crying in the night. What an adventure! We now have a son, now we have to figure out who he is and how to take care of him.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11

It is a humbling thing to remember that the God of the universe knows our future, and has literally made plans for our benefit. Since May, when we returned from our trip one, life has been a strange mix of anxious waiting and odd normality. Its like sometimes all we could think about is when will the call come, and at other times life seems as though we weren't in any sort of process at all. I've often related it to waiting for the green light, knowing that when the light turns green, you have to go. You never know when it will happen, but you believe that it will...eventually. 

Well, hello Mr. Green Light, don't you look bright and cheery! Today was that day. It's funny, today I was listening to the song "Orphan" by John Waller, and I could almost feel his arms around me again. Then, a few hours later, we got the call. We have our court date! We will be represented in court on July 26th(8 days after my birthday), and by God's grace we will be travelling 4-6 weeks after that. 

Praise the LORD! God is so good, and while we know that this nearly 3 year process is coming to an end, our journey with Ian will only just be beginning.

There and back again...

Airport time! While running out the door, stop and take a picture!

We successfully made our first trip and we have made the crazy, though expected, decision to finalize this adoption!  Our journey was long it took us 3 days to get there and we had to spend a night in a hotel and one in an airport, but we made it to the country.

We met our child, which was a very scary experience at first. But after a couple days of freaking out over this enormous decision (or for Abe a few hours?), asking every possible question you can think of, and getting to know him just a little we warmed up to the idea.

We were able to play with him for two hours twice a day for a Monday and Tuesday. We got to play on two little playgrounds, eat lunch with him, and show him several toys. His favorite thing seems to be the slide. We knew from his paper work that he has some delays, which are very normal for children with backgrounds of neglect and loss.  His background is no different, so it makes perfect sense.

Wednesday we were able to take him on a car ride. This was a HUGE deal for him. You could probably count the number of times he remembers getting to ride a car on one hand! He was very excited. He even told Abe "come on, hurry" when he had to stop at a light. We went to a big park and he was very overwhelmed by everything at that point. Abe had to just pick him up and carry him. (I am NOT looking forward to airports!) I don't think he even knows what an airplane is or has ever seen one. Hopefully he will like airplanes, too!

Our plane leaving country.

Our language lessons paid off as well as we could effectively order meals and communicate at least a few things with our little guy. Our translator was rather impressed, she said we know more of the language than any other parents she had met. Of course I felt that we needed to be able to understand much more and that I had forgotten half the words I learned.

We were able to talk to his foster mother as well as his teachers at his day center on Thursday as well as visit with him 2 more times. They were all very nice to us and answered all of our many questions. And believe me I had alot!  Our son has had many losses in his life, but has been doing well recently, thanks in part to the therapy and care he has been given. Of course all of that will be disrupted again, so he will have to grieve those losses and adjust to a completely new environment and parents. It will be very scary and sad for him, and very hard for us. Bringing him home will be the beginning of a very new life for all of us. Parenting even a normal, healthy child through adoption is very challenging, especially in the beginning. We have learned that generally the first three months are the hardest. Then it starts stabilizing into a new "normal" around 6 months home. We will continue to need your prayers and emotional support as we go through this transition.

On Friday we got to see him for the last time and just played like usual. When it came time for him to leave, he did not want to more than on all of the other days. We did not tell him, that we would be leaving, but somehow he seemed to sense it. We were also able to sign some very important papers.

We are looking forward to going back now and waiting on immigration approval before our adoption petition can go through the international court system. In the meantime we are collecting necessary updates to our paperwork, so we have been working on that the past two weeks.  We will be getting his room ready and prepare the best we can for his arrival. We have an estimated 5-6 months to complete this process. So we are hoping that trip #2 will be this September.

Looking back, but still moving forward.

This has been quite the year, and while it may often feel from the outside that nothing is happening, it is often the exact opposite on the inside. Bethany and I have come along way from last December 31st, and as I think about it, I am humbled. It was a year ago that we were still in the midst of getting our homestudy from the local government, and applying for international approval seemed like a far off dream. Now, at the end of 2015, we have already applied internationally, and have confirmation that our dossier is being reviewed by the government in question. We are preparing ourselves mentally for the moment when we get the call: "You can plan your first trip to meet your son." That call could come as soon as February.

Oh, did I mention that we are matched now with a five year old little boy? Well, we are! A year ago we had no idea who God would bring into our lives, and yet now I can't imagine not adopting him. We haven't met him yet, and its true that the adoption wont be finalized for some time yet, but seriously! We're matched with him! He is literally waiting for us to finish the paperwork! The adoption could be completed by the end of this summer.

So yeah, this year has seen a lot of progress on our adoption front. I think about all the help that we've received, emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily, and I am again humbled. God has provided for every need so far, and while we still have about a third of the money to raise, I am confident that he will bring it to pass. Bethany and I have been blessed by so many that want to help, not least of them being a lady on our island who is a national of the country in question. We spoke with her about our adoption, and she offered to teach us the language for free for a month! If that isn't enough to blow your "God is awesome" gauge, let me add this: She is a teacher, and used to teach American English speakers the language professionally. God is so great!

Its good to look back, and be reminded of where we came from. It's a reminder that greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. Who knows, by this time in 2016, we may have even more awesome things to 'look back on.' Happy New Year!

Adoption Event

We are having our first adoption fundraiser event, Ladies Night Out Adoption Fundraiser this Saturday,  November 14th at 6:30pm. I hope to see some of you ladies there.


We are looking forward to an enjoyable evening with a spiritually uplifting message, music, as well as fun with an auction featuring many wonderful items donated by friends and local businesses including:

Jewelry by Joyia and IB Design 

Original watercolor paintings by Marilyn May


These things and more will be available.

For more information visit our Facebook event page.

So now what? Shouldn't you be done by now? Not quite.

Some of you have heard our announcement that we have gotten our USCIS approval. We were really excited about this because it meant that we don't have to re-do any of the paperwork we have already done. Basically our U.S. paperwork is done and approved. Praise the Lord this was a HUGE answer to prayer!

This is not the final stage by any means. So what is next? International paperwork! We needed approval from the U.S. before we could even start the international paperwork, which is called our dossier. This paperwork we just completed yesterday and sent to our adoption agency. There it will be notarized, approved, and sent to the foreign country we are adopting from. This paperwork will be translated into a foreign language and we will be officially be waiting to adopt a child from that specific country! 

From there there are two ways it can go, we will either wait to be matched with a child which can take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. The other option is that we will find a waiting child that we feel we can parent and apply to adopt them. Waiting children in our country of choice are children who have already been available to be adopted within the country for 6 months and have had their paperwork presented to potential parents, but for whatever reason the parents chose not to adopt them. These children's information is given to adoption agencies to advocate for them. Some children are represented by multiple adoption agencies. Most waiting children both domestic and internationally are over 8 years old or/and have medical or developmental special needs or delays. We are hoping to adopt a child under 7 with minor medical needs and some developmental needs or delays. Some people are surprised by this thinking we will adopt a healthy infant. Although we are looking for a young child we are not looking for a baby. In fact within the adoption world, children over 3 are considered "special needs" because they are an older child.  Each adoption agency is given specific children to advocate for. I regularly check these lists of waiting children for children that we believe we can care for. If we are able to find a waiting child we wish to adopt we may have to wait 1-2 months for our agency to acquire their file from the country, if the child is currently being represented by another agency. If the child is still available, our adoption agency can request their file. From there we decide  to pursue the specific child for adoption. From there the process is much quicker: 6 months to 1 year! We would make travel plans to meet the child, decide to adopt them, return home for several months and wait to be given official custody of the child. Once we have official custody we travel back to the country to pick up our child and bring them home. From there our real journey begins, our journey as parents 24/7.

So yes we still have quite a ways to go, but we celebrate each small step on the way there. In the meantime we are doing our best to save and raise funds and learn more about parenting vulnerable children. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive, your prayers, encouragement, and gifts mean so much to us!